If your child has a serious case of the ‘what if’s, he or she may be an excessive worrier.
Often, self-proclaimed ‘worry warts’ or ‘Nervous Nellies’ spend a lot of energy on implausible or relatively small events. They might wonder about the zombie apocalypse or the day the sun grows so big that it burns up the earth.
They may worry about ‘little things’ like what if we are late for school or if I forget my snow boots on a snow day? The child may appear restless or have trouble sleeping. If a friend leaves her out of a game, she may worry that no one likes her.
If a dog barks, he may worry he will be bitten. She may worry the house will catch fire. He may check his grades constantly. It may be that your child is very sensitive and rule-following; even the slightest redirection may lead to sobbing and feelings of regret.
Your child may be irritable or restless about the slightest thing. He may feel most comfortable at times when he is “in control” and may not like allowing others to make decisions. Some children try to control everything, what they eat, where they sit, which friends they play with, even the weather! A very anxious child may cry when it does not snow on Christmas as she had planned.
In extreme cases, she might become constipated from holding her bowels as a means of control. A child who worries may struggle to focus because of internal conflict.
She may describe racing thoughts, particularly at night when trying to fall asleep. You may hear questions about death and concerns that you will die or something bad will happen to a close family member or friend.
What do challenges with General Anxiety look like?
- Saying ‘what if’ all the time?
- Having fears of burglars, kidnappers, or things that go bump in the night?
- Worrying about something bad happening to parents?
- Seeming to be unaware that these imagined catastrophes are unlikely to come true?
- Wondering, ‘What if they don’t like me?’
- Asking, ‘What if my mom forgets to pick me up from school?’
- Spending too much time worrying?
- Always ‘sweating the small stuff?’
- Feeling butterflies in his or her stomach?
- Experiencing headaches, sweaty palms, or racing heart?
Why is General Anxiety happening?
Anxiety in children is often characterized by racing thoughts, restlessness, a need to be in control, and somatic symptoms. Somatic symptoms are physiological symptoms of emotional distress, like stomach and headaches. Children with somatic symptoms may report that their chest feels tight, they can’t breathe, or their stomach is upset. Sometimes the child who worries ends up in the nurse’s office because of such complaints. This break from the day may be reinforcing because it can remove a child from worries. Getting out of the classroom removes social pressures and performance anxieties. Some children worry so much that they feel they have to be perfect. These children will not be satisfied with art projects or writing assignments. Often, when asked, the child may self-identify as a “perfectionist.” Sometimes children are completely unaware of anxiety and report only perfectionism along with physiological symptoms. Children are not always aware that their worries are excessive.
Generalized anxiety is characterized by worries that occur across settings and have an impact on day-to-day functioning. Everyone worries sometimes, and in fact a reasonable amount of worry can be helpful. Some people worry, for example, “I might fail the test.” A bit of worry may mean she is more likely to study, which may have a positive outcome. On the flip side, when a child spends the morning math lesson worrying about whether mom’s flight landed safely, the worries get in the way of day-to-day life. Worry can lead to stomach aches, distractibility, racing thoughts and negative self-statements like “I’m not good enough.” Eventually, excessive worry can lead to feelings of depression due to plummeting self-esteem or the strain on a person’s coping skills. General worries that occur in a number of settings and about a number of different topics are likely to be indicative of generalized anxiety.
How can I manage General Anxiety at home?
Do acknowledge that you feel worried sometimes yourself. Talk through some worries, like “Traffic was awful, and I was worried I’d be late for work.” Talk about how you handle that worry, noting that everyone makes mistakes and that no one is perfect.
Do share that even though you were worried, it all worked out okay in the end. Explain that most of the things we worry about never come to fruition.
Don’t talk about worries like “I’m worried the local crime spree will hit our neighborhood next.”
Don’t turn on the local news at night if your child tends to worry. Be honest and clear when she asks you a question, but keep in mind that children do not need to be privy to everything. Try to bring up positive things happening in your community and to make statements about safety and security.
Many great resources are available for parents and kids to read when children struggle with anxiety . Parents are also advised to consider reading about ‘taming the worry monster’  and to learn more about what anxiety is in ‘the worried child’ .
How can Clear Child Psychology help with General Anxiety?
We Help You, Immediately
Our Free Discovery Session is a 20-minute consultation where we can talk one-on-one about the concerns and questions you have about your child.
We Help Determine Next Steps
Our Initial Consultation allows us to get a deeper understanding of your child’s needs and determine if an assessment is appropriate.
We Build a Customized Plan
Our Assessments allow us to determine your child’s specific strengths and challenges. We can use this information to develop a customized support plan which includes: referrals
We Connect you with the Right Professionals
Once we understand your child’s needs, we will help families get connected to the right specialists. No more guesswork, no more wasted time and resources.
We Provide Ongoing Coaching and Support
Our Coaching Packages allow us to continually support families as they continue their journeys. Parental coaching, life-skills practice, and school advocacy are just a few examples of ways we help.